Table of Contents
Comments follows when the insult is not obvious. This is a guide to better interact with those stupid geeks who are so full of themselves.
offend a computer scientist
After a causual what do you do conversation in the plane, I said studying computer science, and I get asked:
“Can you help me [fix IE/remove a virus/install window/speed up my computer]?”
In reality, many computer scientist lack such ability, especially those who are old and studied physics early on in their career.
“My friend work in IT as well”
There is nothing literally wrong with Information Technology. But computer scientist like to think that IT is managing your networks/user account, or doing system installations. Computer scientists like to think that “computer science is as much about computers as astronomy is about telescopes.” Often, those guys designing cameras and teloscopes make more than astronomers.
offend an engineer as well
“So you are a programmer?”
Many none-software engineers have a strong distaste for being considered a programmer, they think programming is below them. Most of these people have subpar skill level and cannot actually program, even though thats what they do all the time.
Even real programmers often do not prefer the P word. In their dreams there exisit some coding slave type of people who blindly code up what they are told. Programmer like to think themselves as designers and freethinkers and do not want to be associated with the code monkey. Thus, one should call real programmers developers, software engineer, or computer scientist to be polite. US immigration gives visa to computer systems analyst, but not to the title “programmer”. I wish to live until a day when analyst and traders become taboo words too.
offend a mathematician
“Oh, you are a mathematician. My [insert relative/friend here] is an accountant.”
“You must be very good at [insert addition/multiplication]”
“I am too stupid for math, I am the right brain, creative type” - mathematicians like to think of themselves as poets, or at least artists, and the creative type.
Conclude they must like one of those math movies, like proof, good will hunting, or the beautiful mind. This is like how hurtlocker is hated by the soliders.
offend a PhD student
“So, when do you graduate?” - you should not ask that question. It ALWAYS take longer than they like.
“So how many courses do you need until you graduate?” - PhD students are offended if you think their degree is about taking more courses as opposed to doing research.
“Does your parents still pay your tuition?” - PhD students like to think of themselves as someone with a job, as opposed to a student. In reality, graduate school has a lot of similarities to kindergarten.